In Matthew 22 Jesus gives the parable of the wedding banquet. It concludes like this.
11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 12 He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.
13 “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
14 “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”
Klyne Snodgrass, in what might be the most thorough study of Jesus' parables, writes:
"We must reflect again on judgment. This theme appears repeatedly in Jesus’ teaching, and we are always uncomfortable with it. Couldn’t God just be a nice God and not hold anyone accountable?...
Without the concept of judgment one does not even need salvation, and any urgency about life and its importance, about justice, or even about God is, if not lost, at least greatly diminished. Grace is only grace if the outcome should have been otherwise, and the significance of life depends on accountability for life. We may not like judgment, but it is a central and necessary message of both Testaments and especially of Jesus’ teaching." (Snodgrass, Stories with Intent: A Comprehensive Guide to the Parables of Jesus. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.. Kindle Edition.)
The Greek word for judgment is krino. Its root meaning is 'to cut', 'to make a separation'. Either you are for Jesus and a follower, or you refuse the invitation and are against him. All persons who accept the invitation are with him; to refuse the terms of the invitation will mean being without him. Finally, in the end, the door is closed. This concept permeates Jesus' teachings.
When I was a campus pastor at Michigan State University Linda and I taught a Sunday morning class. As many as sixty university students attended. One Sunday a man in his thirties showed up and came to my class. He was not a student. We decided to welcome him and allow him to attend the class.
That morning, during class, the older man started softly giggling, with a smile on his face. He was looking around the circle of students. This made some of our students uncomfortable. After class, I met with him. I asked about the giggling, and the smile. He told me this: "I am looking at the girls and undressing them in my mind." I asked if he wanted help with this behavior. He said, "No, because I am not hurting anyone as I do this." I told him he could not come to the student class any more. I offered to get him help, but he refused. I was willing to welcome this man, but I did not welcome his lusting after our female students. I shut the door to our Sunday class, while opening a door to possible healing.
The parable teaches "that we cannot have the kingdom on our own terms. The invitation of grace brings with it demand. At stake is the issue of a person’s identity. It is not enough to wear the right label (“the invited one”); rather, the kingdom must shape identity so that one has a whole different set of concerns." (Ib.)
Such "concerns" include doctrinal issues. 1 Timothy 1:3-7 says,
3 As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer 4 or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God’s work—which is by faith. 5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. 7 They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.
As you read 1 & 2 Timothy, and Titus, you see the focal point is: Do not welcome teachers of false doctrines into the church. This cuts both ways. For example, "cancel culture" bans certain speakers for teaching "false ideas." Examples of universities doing this abound. (E.g., Jonathan Haidt, The Coddling of the American Mind.)
"Boundaries" have to do with keeping certain beliefs and behaviors in, and not allowing certain outside beliefs and behaviors in. Everyone has boundaries. Many need more, or better, boundaries. Boundaries include and exclude.
Everyone, including you, my dear reader, has physical and cognitive beliefs and behaviors that welcome, and that exclude. In fact, truth excludes. Even if that truth is not true. Here's one more example.
Years ago I purchased, on Amazon, Ryan T. Anderson's book When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment. I thought it was clear, well-written, excellent. Shortly after my purchase, Amazon banned the book. It no longer sells it.
And yet... Amazon sells Hitler's Mein Kampf, which states that Jews and gypsies are the scum of the earth. Welcome to 1984.
Is my church a welcoming church? Am I a welcoming pastor? I prefer substituting 'loving' for 'welcoming'. I would say, "we are," and "I am." And add, "not perfectly." A loving church, like a loving home with protective parents, does not welcome every teaching and every behavior into their house.
A loving church both embraces and excludes.