Strong Marriages Are the Product of Continual Investment

Linda, in Jerusalem

Do not expect your marriage to grow strong if you neglect investing in it. Like a foreign language that is never spoken gets forgotten, forgetting one another in marriage brings death by inches.

If the garden is not watered, it will not grow.

If the musician does not practice, they will not improve.

If the athlete does not train, they will lose.

If husband and wife do not invest in the marital relationship, it will erode.

Here's how Linda and I have invested in our marriage.

We have a date, every Friday night, for almost forty-four years. Just the two of us.

We have read many books on marriage together. A few of them are...  

• Fit to Be Tied, by Bill and Lynn Hybels
• To Understand Each Other, by Paul Tournier
• I Married You, by Walter Trobisch
• Real Relationships, by Les and Leslie Parrott
• The Christ-Centered Marriage, by Neil Anderson
• Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, by Neil Anderson

We minister together, as a couple, to others. We counsel together, we have served in children's ministries together, we have taught kids and teens and college students and adults together, we have done outreach to others together, we have done music together, we have cooked meals for others together, we have togethered together.

We ride bicycles together.

We take walks together, and talk together.

We discuss and pray about our finances together, and seek God together about how to best use the resources God has given us.

We have argued and disagreed with each other.

We have worked hard and listened hard to understand one another.

We have confessed to each other, and forgiven each other.

We talked about and collaborated in parenting together.

We have attended conferences on marriage and spiritual growth together.

We are in a small group Bible Study together (for over 40 years!).

We often meet for lunch together.

We exercise at the local YMCA together.

We help and serve one another.

We surprise one another with gifts.

We think of each other.

We call during the day and check in on each other.

We coordinate our datebooks together.

We clean house together.

We both vacuum and wash dishes.

We affirm each other.

We pray for each other.

Love is an investment that never ends, intended to grow and flourish over a lifetime, so help us God. This will happen as you intentionally invest in your marriage.

***

My recent book is Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.