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Jesus tells us to stop judging other people. (Matthew 7:1) Here are some thoughts I have about this.
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We can, and will, make “judgments” in life. This is unavoidable,
and is not the thing Jesus warns us
against doing. Consider this judgment: Killing people for fun is
wrong. I judge that to be “true.”
Every day we make hundreds of judgments, ranging from moral judgments such as "Sex trafficking is wrong," to “This cup of coffee is too weak,” or "That color looks better on you." When Jesus says “Judge not” he is not referring to making moral judgments or aesthetic judgments or legal judgments or scientific judgments, but is referring to judgmentalism. Judgmentalism is different from making judgments.
Every day we make hundreds of judgments, ranging from moral judgments such as "Sex trafficking is wrong," to “This cup of coffee is too weak,” or "That color looks better on you." When Jesus says “Judge not” he is not referring to making moral judgments or aesthetic judgments or legal judgments or scientific judgments, but is referring to judgmentalism. Judgmentalism is different from making judgments.
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A “judgmental” person weighs in on the hearts of other people
and pronounces, like a trial judge, a verdict. (See James 4.) Like: “guilty.” Or: ”That
person is bad.” Or: "You deserve punishment." A judgmental person sees themselves as both judge and jury over
others. Judgmental people feast off making moral and spiritual judgments about
the motives of other people. Judgmental people see the worst in others
irregardless of evidence to the contrary. Judgmental people make pronouncements without evidence, without understanding and compassion,
even in the face of counter-evidence, and even on the basis of manifestly false
evidence. Judgmentalism is the bedfellow of gossip and slander.
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Behaviors can and should be judged, but the human heart is
difficult to assess. If someone steals from you it is not wrong to say, “They
stole from me; stealing is wrong; therefore what this person has done is
wrong.” But why did they steal from you?
Here’s where caution is advised. Because you and I do not have access to the human
heart. Judge the behavior; refrain from judging the person’s heart. How many
times I have been either positively or negatively surprised when a person’s
true heart becomes evident. Which leads me to say…
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I have, at times, assessed the hearts of people
incorrectly. When my assessment has been negative I’ve built a case against
that person. That’s neither good nor helpful. It breeds bitterness. I
have made mountains, not out of mole-hills, but out of
no-hills.
Consider Proverbs 20:5, which says that “the purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters.” You and I lack epistemic access to the deep waters of another person’s heart. I can’t at times figure my own heart out! How then can I expect to accurately read the hearts of other people? If you wonder why someone did something that affects you negatively, why not ask them rather than put them on trial in your own mind and before others?
Consider Proverbs 20:5, which says that “the purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters.” You and I lack epistemic access to the deep waters of another person’s heart. I can’t at times figure my own heart out! How then can I expect to accurately read the hearts of other people? If you wonder why someone did something that affects you negatively, why not ask them rather than put them on trial in your own mind and before others?
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If God reveals to you some negative aspect of another
person’s heart it is only so that you can pray for them or, with permission,
help them. God doesn’t entrust such privileged information to judgmental
people.
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In John 7, in one of his confrontations with the Jewish religious
leaders, Jesus asks them to “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right
judgment.” They have, again, misjudged Jesus. This is because what is seen with
the eyes is not equivalent to what lies in the heart. It may “appear” to me
that a person has just given me a nasty look. I should not conclude from this
that they have a nasty heart. Maybe, maybe not.
Many years ago, when Linda and I were dating, one of her friends told Linda that it appeared I did not like this friend because of the look on my face. Linda assured the friend that I did like her, and by the way that’s how my face normally looks. You can’t judge a book by the cover.
Many years ago, when Linda and I were dating, one of her friends told Linda that it appeared I did not like this friend because of the look on my face. Linda assured the friend that I did like her, and by the way that’s how my face normally looks. You can’t judge a book by the cover.
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Judgmental people are fearful people.
Judgmentalism works as a barrier erected to ward off self-scrutiny. If I deflect
attention away from my own sin and failure and get people to look at the
surface-appearance of sin and failure in someone else, I can breathe easier. Instead
of crying out “Search me O God, and know my heart,” the cry becomes “Judge
them, O God, for I know their hearts.” Probably not.
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It’s hard work being the judge of the world. I have spent too many hours trying to figure out what is going on in the
brains of other people. Now I am more and more giving this
responsibility to God. What a relief! He calls me to love others, not judge
them. God is able to speak into the hearts of all the people I find myself wondering about. In the meantime I will do well to allow him to speak to my own heart, and leave the judging of others to him.
I
am asking God for freedom from judging the hearts of others. I can make
judgments about things without being judgmental towards people. But note
this: one cannot make a reasonable judgment without first understanding.
It is foolish to judge without understanding.
#1 – Understand.
#2 – Evaluate if needed.
This is wisdom.
***#1 – Understand.
#2 – Evaluate if needed.
This is wisdom.
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My books are:
Praying: Reflections on 40 Years of Solitary Conversations with God.
I'm currently working on How God Changes the Human Heart.
Then, Linda and I plan on writing our book on Relationships.
