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| Linda, in Starbuck's Ann Arbor |
Today I wrote a note to a friend - call him Q; call his wife A.
"Dear Q:
How are you doing in loving A as Christ loves the church and gave his life for her? As you know, for me, there is nothing more important in my life than loving Linda and learing to love her this way, as her husband. Of course this comes after loving God. But in loving God, God tells me to love Linda, as a first priority.
We pray for your marriage, and love you both so much!"
I've got marriages on my mind! Linda and I always have marriages on our minds.
I began reading another book on marriage yesterday - Judith Wallerstein's The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts. Years ago I read Wallerstein's ground-breaking, longitudinal study on children of divorce. If there's anyone who's contemplating divorce and thinks "the kids will be OK," they are a fool. For the evidence read: The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study.
Out of this study came Wallerstein's book on marriage. She found many women saying these words to her: "Happy marriages don't exist." So Wallerstein the social psychologist (formerly teaching at U-C Berkeley; Hebrew U. in Jerusalem) went out to see if she could find any. Her marriage book is about this, and the qualities that make for loving, enduring, lifelong marriages.
That's what Linda and I are into. Thank God we've seen and been influenced by some healthy marriages! We pray the same (and even better) for the marital partners in our Redeemer family.