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| (Cancun sunrise - 2/28/19) |
(I'm re-posting this to keep it in play.)
1. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. "So
they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let
man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses
command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her
away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives
because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the
beginning." - Matthew 19:6ff. Marry someone who has
"covenant" in their soul.
2. Your marriage will go through tough times. This is a lifelong
commitment - "for better, for worse." There will be both. It is
important to go through tough times before you are
married. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops
perseverance." - James 1:2-3
3. Be a servant to your spouse, putting his/her needs before your
own. Lay
down your own "rights" long before you stand at the altar and say
"I do. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it
does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." - 1 Cor.
13:4-5
4. Learn to forgive. This is FOUNDATIONAL.
Never marry someone who cannot let go of old wounds and holds on to
grudges. "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their
sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14-15
5. Admit when you are wrong, and seek reconciliation with your
spouse. NEVER marry
someone who can't say the words "I was wrong." You need to find this
out before you walk down the aisle. "Therefore, if you are
offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has
something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go
and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." -
Matthew 5:23-24
6. Make plans together, but don't be surprised when things don't
turn out the way you planned. "Do not conform any
longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good,
pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2
7. Communicate often, but don't try to change your spouse.
Instead, encourage and strengthen each other. You can't change the other, but
you can be changed yourself. NEVER, EVER marry
someone with the hope that you can change them and they will be different once
you are married. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your
brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you
say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you
yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the
plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from
your brother's eye." - Luke 6:41-42
8. Don't depend on your spouse to fill all your needs. Only God
can do that. Marry someone who loves God and finds their life in God more
than they love and find their life in you. "Cursed is the one who
trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away
from the LORD." - Jeremiah 17:5
9. Mutually submit to one another. "Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now
as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands
in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with
water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this
same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves
his wife loves himself." - Ephesians 5:22-28
One more thing - for the person who says "But nobody's
perfect!"
Correct.
Aim higher than that.
Have a covenental soul.
Go through, not around, tough times.
Serve others.
Forgive, as you have been forgiven.
When you are wrong, admit it. When the other person is wrong,
relate to it.
Be flexible. Move with the Holy Spirit.
Focus on your own transformation into Christlikeness.
Make Jesus your everything, your all in all.
Humbly submit to one another.